Chandler Patterson

Some stories stay with us forever. Chandler Patterson’s story has woven itself so deeply into my being, it feels like my own. I wrote a piece about Chandler for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. I had a focus and a word limit and when the story was handed off, I didn’t feel finished. I wasn’t ready to move on from this man I’d focused on so intently, who I’d watched videos of, and whose family I’d hugged and prayed for. After thinking about him daily for over a week, I realize I’m not meant to let go of his story. I’m meant to share it. It is my sincere hope that you, dear reader, will share it, too.

Chandler Patterson’s life was cut short when he passed in June 2021, just three weeks after his wedding. His death was a tragic headline, but the 27 years prior were precious. As mentioned, I’ve watched video of Chandler and seen picture after picture of this gregarious man who “loved to talk.” I never met him, but wish I had. I love everything I’ve learned about him. I’ve watched the footage of a 6-year-old Chandler, standing before his church, professing his love for Jesus. I’ve watched his rehearsal dinner speech countless times, where he gushes with love for his family and friends and emanates joy and levity and adoration. A familiar feeling stirs when I speak to his family. I want to hug them, cry with them, laugh with them. I want us to sit around a table, sharing stories and I want to hold their hands on their heaviest days. Their pain is my pain. I understand it all too well.

My husband and I recently visited StillFire Brewing for the release of Dude 21, a beer created in honor of Chandler. I met Alyssa, Chandler’s wife, who I’d previously interviewed over the phone, and so many of Chandler’s friends and family, including his parents, Breck and Lisa Patterson. While talking with someone, I looked across the room to see my husband and Breck exchanging numbers. Two broken-hearted fathers. When I met Lisa and saw tears in her eyes, I fought to keep my own at bay.

Chandler Patterson was a handsome 27-year-old, wise beyond his years. He gleaned his outlook on life from his father and grandfather and would’ve surely passed it on to his own children. In his wedding vows, he told Alyssa that he always hoped he’d marry someone like his mother. Someone kind, godly, and beautiful. Alyssa was his dream realized.

The speech he made at their rehearsal dinner was impromptu. He talked about legacy and character. He spoke of how he wants to be remembered when he’s gone, not knowing that would be just three weeks later. He was at complete ease in front of the crowd. He was warm and engaging, charming and well-spoken. At the beer release party, multiple people asked if I’d seen the video of that speech. I’d answer yes and comment on how poignant his words were. They’d say, “I wish you could have met him.” I’d say, “I feel like I have.”

I’ve absorbed so many precious anecdotes from his family, so many examples of Chandler’s great character and his love for God, America, and firefighting. And when I hear his words about how much he loved people, I think about my Max.

When people used to ask me to describe Max, to tell them about his favorite things, my first thought was he loves people. In his obituary I wrote “he was a collector of friends.” He and Chandler both had a way of drawing people in, sharing perspective, light, and humor.

The desperation I feel to keep Max’s legacy alive, to make him feel as present as ever, is exactly how the Patterson family feels. They’re clinging to Chandler’s words, his pictures, all their memories with him. They’re dedicated to sharing his name and his message and I am, too. Please take a few minutes to watch Chandler’s speech. His words are a gift to his family, and, I believe, a gift to all who hear them. Please watch it, share it, show it to your children. Show them the brave, strong firefighter who put others first in all arenas of his life. Show them a man who prioritized his faith, led with his heart, and left no words unspoken.

PURCHASE DUDE 21 BEER in honor of Chandler. Proceeds benefit a firefighter education fund.

WATCH Chandler Patterson’s rehearsal dinner speech and please share it with others.

READ about Chandler and Dude 21 beer in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution